Guide For The Paranoid Businessman Visiting Spain
(UPDATE...also check out John and Antonio at Iberian Notes for more on the subject)

I got this idea while reading John Bono's site, Big S Blog. In the comments section for one of his postings there was a discussion about how Americans stand out when they travel. Despite, one person saying he's able to blend in when travelling, I'd have to say I disagree … Americans do stand out.

So with that in mind, here's a guide for that Paranoid Businessman who's visiting Spain, and while some of it might just seem like a dress code it must be understood that people here do in general tend to dress more formal. And yes, there are Spaniards that do "break" the following rules, but if your goal is to blend in, well...

So here you go…

- Rule 1: Don't wear white socks
- Rule 2: Don't wear sneakers or tennis shoes, and if you do, don't wear them with white socks (see Rule #1)
- Rule 3: Don’t wear penny loafers, instead go for a wingtips
- Rule 4: When "dressing down" with chinos, don't wear sneakers, or penny loafers (see Rules #1 and Rule #3)
- Rule 5: Don't wear sweat or track suits, and DON'T wear a baseball cap

- Rule 6: Don't worry about traffic signals, because nobody else is. Go by the rule, if I can get across the street, then do it...but watch out for those cars!
- Rule 7: When out in the street, always wear a jacket or blazer, even if you're "dressed down."
- Rule 8: If you smoke, do so in public, while walking down the street, in lobbies, basically ignore any signs that say smoking isn't allowed
- Rule 9: When wearing suits, in winter prefer dark navy blue suits, with a discreet herringbone or birdseye patterns, pinstripes can also be acceptable, but not if "loud." Suit cuts should run conservative, and also don't wear any pins in lapels. In summer, lighter weaves (but avoid linen, unless you want to look like a British "Colonist"), and some colors can be worn....
- Rule 10: Don't wear button down, Oxford-style shirts, instead choose shirts of a large collar cut, firmly fitting around neck, and preferably, with French cuffs. Cufflinks should be a simple design, medium large, in either gold or silver. Avoid polyester like the plague! Always 100% cotton, and avoid white shirts, instead go with blue, or a subtle plaid pattern. Monograms are okay, but should be limited to three initials, and over the "left breast," never on the cuff or collar!

- Rule 11: Ties should be of a double weave, and wider cut. Always tie your ties using a double Windsor knot (creating a large knot) - a dead give away is a tie that forms a small knot. Tie patterns should be conservative, leave out the floral, etc. prints, and instead go for solid colors, or small print patterns. Avoid the typical Yale school style striped patterns. And never wear a black tie, or you'll be asked all day who died!
- Rule 12: Wear over the calf socks, avoid thick weaves, and loud patterns, and best without any. Stick to thinner (viewed more elegant) 100% cotton socks, of a dark color, and which, in the summer get to looking pretty similar to nylons.
- Rule 13: Suit jackets should be with three-button, and only button the middle one, leaving top and bottom button open, lapels should be medium width.
- Rule 14: Don't have a big, or thick wallet - not only will it call attention to thieves, but it creates a bulge in your jacket - and don't wear it in back pocket of trousers , very unseemly!
- Rule 15: When wearing a topcoat, avoid a dark blue Burberry's, as with the rest of your wear you'll like like US secret service. Instead go for a classic look, avoid double breast …. Think Jimmy Stewart in a 1940s flick!

- Rules 16: Don't wear any flannel shirts, or coats - in fact, leave those ski-jackets and winter jackets home!
- Rule 17: In winter do wear a scarf, and think conservative, women should think of Channel rip-offs.
- Rule 18: Do wear braces (suspenders), but not clips! And never wear a belt with those suspenders!
- Rule 19: If you're going to wear jeans, then don't wear Levi 501s,or similar. Also, have the legs hemmed and iron them.
- Rule 20: When greeting women, greet with a "kiss" on both cheeks. When greeting a man, don't give him a "kiss" - a handshake is just fine.

- Rule 21: When going out to lunch, don't talk business unless others bring it up….and when eating out, don’t leave your hands in your lap, unless you want people to think that you are playing with yourself. Instead, hands above the table!
- Rule 22: While we're at it, when eating out, cut with your right, while holding with your left, and then lift food to mouth with your left hand…it's a bit tricky at first, but watch and you'll quickly catch on. Always wipe your mouth before taking a drink of wine…there's nothing more unsightly than food crumbs left on a wine glass. When eating bread, the bread is on the plate on your left, only tear a bite size amount, and place the rest of the bread back on that plate. If you want butter, only put butter on that bite size piece, don't butter the whole thing!
- Rule 23: If you feel like smoking, you usually can between plates, but just ask "permission," which is almost always granted, since it would be bad manners to refuse you a smoke.
- Rule 24: When eating the first plate, this is often shared, and is a series of first plates, could be something like slices of ham, salad, cheeses, etc. Don't eat the last piece, and don’t pick up items with your hands, but it's A-OK for all to share the same plate. Of course, you don't share your main plate...
- Rule 25: Always hold the door open for others, including men (this becomes kind of an honour question) and when women are present, don't enter before them - even if it means you miss the lift.

- Rule 26: Don't try to pick up on women who wear rings on their RIGHT hand! In many parts of Spain, the engagement ring worn on the left hand, and then switched to the right hand when married.
- Rule 27: If there is sun and it's hot, never walk in the sun.
- Rule 28: Never wear sandals, and if you do, never wear socks, especially white socks (see Rule #1)
- Rule 29: Never wear shorts, but if you do, make sure they are longer Bermuda-chino style cuts…and that they are pressed.
- Rule 30: Don’t hang out in Irish Pubs, and McDonalds…and if you do hang out in Irish Pubs, don't try to talk with a fake British accent.